Bye Bye Mommy and GO LAKERS.....!

So now I know why they say being a parent, especially a mom, is so hard! It's not about the physical labor or the daily duties that need to be accomplished. As a corporate executive and career woman, I know how to get things done. What is hard and perhaps what I wasn't totally ready for was just how emotionally tough and spiritually grueling it can be. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love, love, love that I get to spend most of my time with Bela; in fact I would have it NO other way. But I wasn't prepared for all of the tough points. For instance, when we started Bela at KinderCare a few times a week, I was very gung-ho about it. Never did I anticipate having to deal with such an emotional issue. The first day, I dropped her off, she was crying for me relentlessly;. I kept thinking to myself, "Am I doing the right thing?" It got harder as the weeks went on because I started to see just how much being away from me was affecting her. She would cry every time I would pick her up, she wasn't getting the attentionshe needed in an environment like that (12 kids to 1 teacher). But I knew that she needed to be a large social environment to interact with kids her own age because she wasn't getting that at home with us. But I was so emotionally torn - literally losing sleep over what to do. Should I keep her in there, should I take her out? She would come home asking for Daddy and my heart was just sinking to the point where I seriously thought about taking her out totally because I felt that things would never get better and that I could be damaging our attachment. However, thank goodness for my husband. He was able to remain logical because he was somewhat removed from the emotional impact of the whole situation. He encouraged me to stick with it and so I did. As a result, after about 4 weeks of sending her to KinderCare part-time, today I dropped Bela off and she said, "Bye Bye Mommy" and gave me a kiss! She then started dancing with all the other kids even before I could get out the door she was dancing away! Today my heart felt so full; it was like I had just crossed a major milestone being a mom. With Bela being adopted, we have been sensitive to ensuring her attachment remains strong and moving her into pre-school at a very slow pace. So it was such an amazing experience to see how attached she is to us while she simultaenously enjoys pre-school. I think I now know why they say kids grow up so fast and to truly enjoy every moment.

One of the biggest benefits I have seen with Bela and pre-school is her language improvement. Next week will mark 5 months since we brought Bela home. Since we placed her in pre-school, her language has just exploded. Kids do learn from other kids and she seems to be much more confident speaking. Now if I could only get her to say, "Yes, Please" instead of "Yah"...my job will be done! :) She is still going to speech and language therapy twice a week and is in the middle of her assessment. By the end of this month, they will determine whether she has tested out and no longer needs therapy or whether she could use more support until her 3rd birthday - at which point our local school district would take her on.

This past weekend, a bunch of couples from the OC and SD area got together to have an adoption potluck in San Clemente. We have been fortunate enough to meet some amazing couple (Zeena and Azeem) who have adopted a gorgeous girl from India (Bela refers to Zaleeya as Zeeya) who have since introduced us to several other couples who have adopted in our area. Many of them are local, closed adoptions but it's truly been great to meet adoptive parents and we really believe it will be great for Bela to be friends with other children who are adopted so she remembers just how special she is and how special she is to us.

This weekend is Father's Day - Ryan's first Father's day. Not sure I can top the gift he got me (Breakfast in bed with a new Flast Screen TV), but I know it will be special. Over the last month or so, we have noticed that Bela is much more attached to me than Ryan. The main reason we believe is because I am with her most of the time while Ryan now goes into work during the day. So on the weekends, we figured that Ryan should have a Bela and Daddy day where they get to spend at least half the day together, just by themselves. Going to the park, the petting zoo, etc... are ways for her to continue building that strong attachment she has for Ryan. Our social worker was good to remind us that she is still in the attachment process so we want to continue to build on that while finding a good balance between getting some alone time for us. 

Grandma and Grandpa have also been coming over quite a bit to help me during the week when Bela is not in school so I can get some work done. The great part about that is that she is totally building a solid relationship to them and feeling attached to them as well. She misses them when they leave and enjoys playing with them when they are here - they have truly opened their hearts to loving Bela and Ryan and I both appreciate just how much time they have taken to spend with Bela each week.

So Last night, the Lakers won their 16th championship and anyone who knows me, knows that I am a die-hard fan. So since much of being a nurturing and loving parent includes passing on some passions and hobbies to your children, Bela is now chanting, "Go Lakers" and cheering and clapping when the game is on. She even recognizes the NBA logo and loves to play basketball. It's becoming so amazing to see how much of Bela's actions, words, demeanor and personality has changed since we brought her home. No longer do we have a shy child who won’t look other people in the eye – in fact, she loves to say hi to people who say hi to her; no longer do we have a scared child who wouldn’t let anyone hold her; no longer do we have a frustrated child who couldn’t tell us what she wanted; no longer do we have a stoic expression, instead it's all smiles and giggles. In addition, she seems to be taking on some of the traits and characteristics and even likes and dislikes of me and Ryan. She loves the Lakers, loves cooking with Dad (which Dad loves to do) and is very logical in her actions for the most part - much like we are. Granted she still is a 2-year old but it amazes me how much us I see in Bela. She truly is our daughter, meant for only us!