Today at 9:15 AM we left for BSSK in Pune to meet Bela, which was just a short 5 minute rikshaw ride away. Upon driving through the gates we were greeted by 5 kids who were yelling Momi in Murati. At first I was thinking oh great all these kids think I am their dad. Only to find out later they were asking if I was Jagruti's dad, a darling 4 year old girl getting adopted the same day. The children are all made aware of what is going on, and that was apparent when we finally saw Bela.
After talking with adminstrative staff, we were brought back downstairs into the play area to finally meet our daughter. Right away Bela caught a look of us and started to hide behind the other kids and had a look of "Oh man, they're here to take me!" She is the one in pink in this photo. She was even more cute in person than in the photos and I couldn't wait to go hold her. Unfortunately, she had other ideas and our meeting was not the "Little Orphan Annie story" that I was hoping for. Each time we tried to get close to her to hold her while playing, eating, reading, etc she'd immediately begin to cry and reach for her familar caregivers. As you can imagine this can be very upsetting to adoptive parents, and I was sure affected by it and it made me sad. However, the fact that she didn't just run up to me and instead reached for her current caregivers hopefully shows that she is able to make attachments, now we just need to break her current ones and create new ones, which we both knew would require lots of tears from all of us.
After her lunch at around 12:00 Resh again went to pick her up and of course she wailed and resisted, so the three of us went downstairs and rocked on the swing to put her to sleep. With Resh singing 10 little monkeys to her and rocking, her sobbing slowed down to a gentle snore as she fell asleep in her arms. So we went back to up the nursery and put her in her crib to nap until 2 PM. After her nap, it was potty training time and they lined up little plastic potties for all the kids to "go" and Bela was hanging out with her peer group and I began to play with some of the other kids (not on the potties) and Bela watched and could see maybe it was fun. It's amazing the joy kids get out of seeing themselves on digital cameras. I took pictures of each of the kids and they would yell out the name of each kid as I scrolled through. I began to wave from afar over to Bela and she slowly dawned a little smirk and waved back to me. Sweet, I am in!!
After potty time, we did some more activities (reading, puzzles, etc) and then it was time for Bela to leave the nest at around 4 PM. We were joined by another couple from Norway (Jagruti's parents) and each family had a small aarti (Indian ceremony) to celebrate our adoptions and the beginnings of new families. After that, we gathered up our belongings and Resh held our still sobbing daugther and we began to make our way downstairs, through the play yard, out the gate, and into our awaiting rikshaw.
As with all kids, the ride quickly put her to sleep and we arrived at our hotel where we gave her a bath. The sobbing had been replaced by a look of "oh man what is happening to me" and she allowed us to bathe her and dress her. We were all still in a state of shock and sadness. Resh's Mom and I left the hotel to go get Bela some food from the orphanage at around 6 PM and when we came back Bela was up playing with her books and crayons. After her play time, we tried to feed her but she had only a few bites and it was clear to us that she knew how to say "NO" with huge side-to-side head shakes. I am sure the trama trumps any hunger pains she may have had. 
After talking with adminstrative staff, we were brought back downstairs into the play area to finally meet our daughter. Right away Bela caught a look of us and started to hide behind the other kids and had a look of "Oh man, they're here to take me!" She is the one in pink in this photo. She was even more cute in person than in the photos and I couldn't wait to go hold her. Unfortunately, she had other ideas and our meeting was not the "Little Orphan Annie story" that I was hoping for. Each time we tried to get close to her to hold her while playing, eating, reading, etc she'd immediately begin to cry and reach for her familar caregivers. As you can imagine this can be very upsetting to adoptive parents, and I was sure affected by it and it made me sad. However, the fact that she didn't just run up to me and instead reached for her current caregivers hopefully shows that she is able to make attachments, now we just need to break her current ones and create new ones, which we both knew would require lots of tears from all of us.
After her lunch at around 12:00 Resh again went to pick her up and of course she wailed and resisted, so the three of us went downstairs and rocked on the swing to put her to sleep. With Resh singing 10 little monkeys to her and rocking, her sobbing slowed down to a gentle snore as she fell asleep in her arms. So we went back to up the nursery and put her in her crib to nap until 2 PM. After her nap, it was potty training time and they lined up little plastic potties for all the kids to "go" and Bela was hanging out with her peer group and I began to play with some of the other kids (not on the potties) and Bela watched and could see maybe it was fun. It's amazing the joy kids get out of seeing themselves on digital cameras. I took pictures of each of the kids and they would yell out the name of each kid as I scrolled through. I began to wave from afar over to Bela and she slowly dawned a little smirk and waved back to me. Sweet, I am in!!
After potty time, we did some more activities (reading, puzzles, etc) and then it was time for Bela to leave the nest at around 4 PM. We were joined by another couple from Norway (Jagruti's parents) and each family had a small aarti (Indian ceremony) to celebrate our adoptions and the beginnings of new families. After that, we gathered up our belongings and Resh held our still sobbing daugther and we began to make our way downstairs, through the play yard, out the gate, and into our awaiting rikshaw.
As with all kids, the ride quickly put her to sleep and we arrived at our hotel where we gave her a bath. The sobbing had been replaced by a look of "oh man what is happening to me" and she allowed us to bathe her and dress her. We were all still in a state of shock and sadness. Resh's Mom and I left the hotel to go get Bela some food from the orphanage at around 6 PM and when we came back Bela was up playing with her books and crayons. After her play time, we tried to feed her but she had only a few bites and it was clear to us that she knew how to say "NO" with huge side-to-side head shakes. I am sure the trama trumps any hunger pains she may have had. 
At around 8 PM, Bela's eyes began to get heavy (as did ours) and we put her night dress on and she quickly fell asleep in the middle of the bed. It was a long hard day with lots of tears of sadness and joy, but Bela is finally ours and we can look forward to waking up with Bela tomorrow. Let's see how tomorrow goes....
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Your chronicling of yours & Bela's story brings tears to my eyes. I'm sure the day was every bit as emotionally troubling for you guys as it was for Bela. There really is nothing quite so humbling as parenting ... or, as rewarding. Hang in there ... I'm betting it won't take her very long to realize she's one lucky little girl!
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