We are SO HAPPY to finally be home - one full day later than we originally expected due to all the flight delays in Delhi! Needless to say, it's been a very long few days. We got an amazing welcome home from our friends and family; we are so thankful and overwhelmed with all the love! My cousins and my brother's sister-in-law met us at the airport with big welcome home signs and balloons for Bela - it was so special and something that I can't wait to show her pictures of!
She also got to meet some of her new cousins. My sister made traditional Indian food for Bela and fed us - thank goodness as neither Ryan or I were going to cook (yes, with our role reversal it looks like I am going to have to learn a few basics!).
When we got to our house, Ryan's parents and sister fully stocked our fridge and pantry with foods for Bela. The house was nicely decorated with welcome home signs and balloons all the way up to Bela's room. Bela is so loved!! Thank you Shyamal, Anita, Nilu, Jack, Sagar, Shareena, Alan, Pilar, Denise, Erika, Stephanie, Sonel, Jay, Mom, Dad, the One-Giving family and of course all of our nieces and nephews who were also very excited to welcome Bela home!
We noticed a little smirk that she gives when she is getting ready to do something bad. This picture on the right sums up her joy in playing at the airport where she wasn't supposed to. The plane ride home was really hard early on - especially for Ryan. That smirk quickly went away as we got on the plane. Bela started to throw a tantrum right before takeoff so Ryan locked himself in the airline bathroom with her and she eventually fell asleep just before the flight attendants insisted Ryan take his seat - whew! Tantrum 1 and counting! She threw her second tantrum when she woke up because she wanted a baby bottle that the child next to us was drinking out of. She hasn't drank out of a bottle for a while now, but the couple next to us were kind enough to give her a clean bottle for her to suck out of. Again it's normal for her to regress a bit from what we understand so we went with it! We won't have any bottles at home for her so we weren't worried about her getting attached to a bottle again - we just wanted to appease her through the flight so everyone around us could get some sleep! So the first 4 hours of the 16 hour flight was really tough with a total of 3 tantrums!!! Ryan was amazing and I was so impressed with how he handled everything. He spent a lot of time locked in the bathroom with her but that seemed to work so again, we went with it just to get through the flight! Welcome to the "terrific" 2's I guess! She still is totally stuck on Ryan and won't let anyone else hold her. Ryan is now an expert in changing diapers, even in the small airline bathrooms! We joke that his time has reduced from 45 minutes (the time it took him to change his first diaper in Pune) to about 10 min now for public bathrooms. He insists on fully unclothing her before a change because the first attempt was very messy. So for now, that's the process until she is fully potty trained. Bela has been a great sleeper too once she is down so that has been great as it gives Ryan time to re-charge.
Since Ryan had his hands full with Bela, I think I've gotten a pretty good work out lifting and carrying all of our luggage the last 2 days through Delhi, Dubai and now at home. 6 bags and 3 heavy carry-on’s. Thank goodness my brother and his family were also traveling with us. Their help was awesome and our nephew got to spend some time with Bela on this journey. We certainly didn't expect this role reversal but then again, we really couldn't predict what would happen even with all the expert advice. At least she is home now and we can focus on her attachment with me. 
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Ryan, Reshma and Bela,
ReplyDeleteWelcome home, we are so happy for your safe and rewarding journey. We have enjoyed your blog and look forward to meeting your precious Bela.
Love,
Roger & Joyce Brown
Welcome welcome home! Ok so I have a ton of stuff to say. First... kudo's for making it through the flight! I am not at all surprised about the tantrums. They are horrible, but normal and it may take a while to overcome them. Ryan's technique of going to a different (small) room is perfect. Take her away from the stimuli.
ReplyDeleteIt took Zaleeya a few days to laugh with us too.... totally normal! And I am not surprised she has latched on to one parent mainly... hang in there Resh. It will happen.
The regression is normal and keep doing what you are doing. I wouldn't ever worry about it too much honestly if she goes back on a bottle for a while (maybe once a day). I was more paranoid about this than I wanted when Z first came home but you will learn that you can always take it away in the future when she is adjusted. Whatever she needs to feel "comforted" during this traumatic time. And many books say it's better to feed them in these early weeks even if they are capable to doing it themselves. I would keep the feeding duties to you and Ryan so she can distinguesh easily who her parents are.
This will be a tough few weeks because she is dealing with trauma, change AND the emotions of the terrible twos. Stay flexible, patient,and take breaks for yourself OFTEN. :)
Good luck, congrats, and please call me if you need to! :)
Thanks for your comments Roger and Zeena!
ReplyDeleteZeena, Talking to you tonight was such a huge relief knowing we're not alone in this process. It really helped to hear similar stories to really understand just now normal all of this is - even if it seems counter-intuitive. Thanks!!