Hurry Up and Wait - Reading up on Parenting!

This whole year we weren't anxious about the timing but now that our tickets are purchased and all the logistics are set, the days don't seem to be going by fast enough! Luckily we have several books, including a 500 page book on parenting an internationally adopted child to keep us busy! In all seriousness, I do recommend the book highly to anyone adopting internationally; it's called "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years" by Patty Cogen. Our social worker recommended the book and another couple we spoke to who adopted a beautiful little girl (http://www.zaleeya.blogspot.com/) from India and they also highly recommended it.


The reading materials have been very interesting....Ryan and I have discovered that process of attaching/bonding is so delicate that it's perfectly ok to do things that perhaps you might consider "spoiling" with your own biological child. For instance, we plan to sleep with Bela for a while; her room is big enough for her crib and a queen bed so we're keeping that in place for now. She is used to having caretakers sleep in the same room as her so we have to be delicate about letting her feel very safe when she gets here. We also need to be very attentive when she is upset or throws a tantrum and cater to her every need during that time so she feels totally comfortable and safe with us. The book gives great advice about how to go about teaching her discipline through positive reinforcement. Negative words and "no's" are ok but should be used sparingly. For instance, "time-out's" should be referred to "time-in's" for instance.

It seems like we can never be prepared enough but the good news is we have plenty of resources to help us and in the end, we have to trust that our parental instincts will no doubt get us through the rest.